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Monday, January 23, 2012

January 16: Lighten Up!!

Lighten up!! Fairies can fly because they take themselves lightly!

Prayer 25:
~by Joyce Rupp in Prayers to Sophia
Holy Wisdom,
"lighten up" your graced voice urges,
as I did my way deeper
into th paralysis of anxiety.
Immersed in my intensity,
bludgeoned with responsibility,
I focus on the thousand items
showting at me from their precarious perch
while I wheeze with self-pity.
"Lighten up,"
your graced voice suggests
as I struggle in the net
of my desolate self-destruction.
Innundated with details and duties,
each clamoring for a morsel of my time,
my life is overpopulated with expectations
while my true loves are ignored and unfed.
When did I develop the notion
that I could do it all?
When did I smugly decide I could handle everything
without you by myside?
Slowly I become more grateful
for your strong, persistent voice
nudging me toward the laughter of letting go
and the chuckle of neglect.
"One who is vigilant on her account
will soon be free from care."
Wisdom 6:15
I've been working on "lightening up." Not surprising, unbeknownst to me prior to a conversation we had the other day, my anamcara Anni has been working on the same thing. In fact, she has chosen "lighten up" as her phrase for the year. That often happens for the two of us, that connection of common experience across the miles in things we haven't even spoken about to the other. I've had to give serious thought to what keeps me stuck in "busyness" when I'd rather be doing things I want to be doing. I've discovered clues here and there in the mystery. Sometimes I talk a better talk than walking the walk.

Laughter and humor are part of my spirituality. I forget that. One of my fave pics of Jesus is one in which his head is thrown back in laughter. That is a god I can get on board with, not the fire and brimstone, shaming, angry, jealous god that the church has used to get people to conform to some rigid standard of judgement. It seems to me in my experience that those who are judgemental and shaming usually judge and shame others to not have to look at their own imperfections and failings. I used to beat myself up A LOT when making mistakes, now I mostly laugh at them, I don't have a very fragile ego. I think less about what my actions please or don't please. I have high standards for myself, but I don't think I often use the same standards to decide whether or not someone is "worthy"...worthy of whatever... respect, love, help. When I forget to laugh and get my panties in a knot being too serious I move a step or two or more away from Goddess. Goddess and I love to laugh together, I provide a lot of comedic relief with my human nature and foibles. Laughter is a great source of creativity, re-creation of self and
the way I see the world around me.
t's so cold here this morning! And it's snowing. I have to be out and about all afternoon and into the evening. It would be great if the snow stopped by this evening when I'm out in the woods to see clients, the roads are not so great and hard to tell where the road ends and the ditch begins.

Yesterday on my way to see clients I had a really cool experience. Just outside of town I had a huge timber wolf cross the highway in front of me. It stopped and looked at me before moving on. We have a lot of wolves around this year, but this is the first one I've seen in ages.


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