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Tuesday, August 2, 2011


Lughnasahd by northwoodsluna
Lughnasahd, a photo by northwoodsluna on Flickr.

Yesterday was Lughnasahd, it nearly passed without my noticing it. I have gotten out of sync with the wheel of the year. Life pulls me in so many directions, none of them bad really, but my spirituality is such a big portion of who I am, I am determined to ressurect the dry bones of my spirit. I do spend some time with God/dess each day, and S/he are woven into my day and night like breathing itself. But to really walk my spiritual path at times I am hobbled. It's difficult not to put aside those parts of myself that don't fit into the public life of a pastor's wife. I am grateful for all that we are given from the congregations that my husband serves, he is a wonderful pastor, a wonderful man. I soemtimes let fear of what would happen to him if I were vocal about what I truely believe, publicly. Although he is an accepting, loving, open minded man, there is still that "Jesus makes so much sense to me" thing. He does not ask/tell me to be other than who/what I am, but still I want to shout out sometimes when the message is proclaimed in church, NO!! That's not what I believe. But sticking to the "maxim" that governs my heart and mind, "and it do no harm do as you will" I can not cause him pain, or these lovely people he serves pain, as it would, or make them feel that somehow I am dissing the beliefs they hold on to so strongly, sometimes so desperately for their survival, as much as I am able to prevent hurt/harm to others. There is just so much more that patriarchal traditional Judeo-Christian theology does not encompass, the desert fathers did not see the sacredness of the feminine unless it supported and entrenched their own power and position. Perhaps I am a covert pagan, without a true community in "real time". Sometimes that is painful, but most of the time it is okay, I do so love these beautiful, kind decent, hardworking people in the communities Tom serves. The privilege of hearing their stories, sitting with them in joy and in sorrow is an amazing gift. I cherish the friends I have made, the people who have treated my heart so gently. Life IS good. I truely believe that.

Lughnasahd, feast of the harvest, a time to gather in the harvest, sort through the grains of wheat and the chaff, burning off that which is not useful. It's a time to separate out the things that do not nurture, feed, sustain us, and to give thanks for the bounty of blessing and abundance that we DO have in our lives. It's a time to let go of old angers, old fears, old habits that do not add quality to our lives and make our lives as wonderful and happy as they can be. There are always a few weeds, or sometimes a lot of weeds that sneak into our lives, but when sorted out, there is always so much more good seed than not to carry us through and onward into the future. As this week's theme in the creativity group in which I'm participating is GRATITUDE. It seems timely that midway through the group's 8 weeks that Lughnasahd should fall grabbing my attention. I've lots to think about.... I have learned to let go of things that in the big scheme of life do not matter, but sometimes I struggle with holding onto those things that feed me, the things that are most satisfying

We had for dinner last night new potatoes, fresh beets, a fresh garden salad with all the many greens from our friends's gardens (and the addition of onions, cucumbers, radishes, tomatoes, peppers we are fortunate enough to be able to afford to purchase in our grocery stores), along with spicy black bean burgers and multigrain thin buns. All fruits of the earth. A wonderful and appropriate Lughnasadh dinner. I am grateful for all the vegetables I have washed, sliced, diced over the past couple of days. Tonight I will be making a chard/sweet potato/chickpea stew to serve with couscous and another salad for dinner. There is NO room in the refrigerator at all at the moment because of all the greens and herbs we have been gifted with so recently. Such delicious abundance. I am grateful.

When I got to town to see a family this afternoon they were not there. I called the clients' cellphone, she said that she had left a message for me on voice mail. There were no notifications, I dialed in, sure enough there were *3* voice messages left this morning even though my phone did not show missed calls or messages waiting to be retrieved. Grrrr Verizon does that sometimes. I quickly got over my irritation and was grateful for the gift of time to stop at the store for milk for Tom, and to come home and have some time to blog before I begin chopping chard and simmering our stew for dinner.


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