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Monday, January 23, 2012

POMEGRANATE SEEDS: DECEMBER 18

DECEMBER 18
I woke up with a splitting headache. Is there such a thing as a laughter hangover? I didn’t have a drop of alcohol on Saturday, but it still felt like a hangover! LOL
I didn’t go to church, mostly I sat on the loveseat and drank tea all morning as I couldn’t look at the computer screen or move around without pain.
My colleague Kendra text messaged me to let me know that her son Callen Joseph had been born Saturday morning, 6 weeks early, but that mom and baby were doing well.
I was thinking about John’s Christmas tree. He and Noah and Kay and Ashlyn went to buy one Friday night. Ornaments are sparse on the tree. When Angie left she took all the ornaments. John refused to let her take the 1st and 2nd Christmas ornaments we’d given Ashlyn so he had them, the Darth Vader talking ornament we gave him years ago, “Luke, I am your father.” He’d caught her trying to throw it away one year. She left one ornament with her name on it. John kept that and used a black sharpie to cross out her name. Interesting. I was glad we’d given him the 3rd Christmas ornament this year. I may go back and pick up the 4th and 5th in the series for the next couple of years.
I felt enough better to go to the Christmas Program in the afternoon. It was fun!
It was a joint program with the Sunday School kids and the adult choir.
There was a particularly touching beginning to the program when a boy with autism opened the program with a welcome via his communications box.
Another boy in the congregation who has high functioning autism took part in the program AND did a reading for the first time ever. Victories and celebrations for their families!
Tom had a solo in one of the choir selections; I never get tired of hearing him sing. He has a lovely bass voice.
The manger scene was a delight as usual with a brawl between two wee shepherds fighting over the sheep.
One of the wee angels kept picking her nose
Joseph stripped off his robe and head covering and announced to the audience, “It’s too itchy!”
Becca was an adorable angel! Had to giggle when her wings began molting! Ha!
The food at the potluck after was really good and there were very few sweets! A good thing!
I watched a Christmas movie on Hallmark channel this evening while Tom was out at Mt. Carmel teaching confirmation class, and then shut off the TV to read until bedtime.
We got a giggle watching Bear sniff at the gift bag Julie and Matt sent home for him, it contains rawhide bones. We’ll give them to him on Christmas since he’s the closest thing to one of our children we’ll have home.
I’m planning to go caroling on Friday afternoon with a few from the congregation including my young friend Becca. Becca wanted to go caroling with just me. LOL I convinced her otherwise LOL.
We got some snow tonight. Not much but it’s looking a bit more like Christmas.
It continues to continue to fascinate me how snow doesn’t melt when it lands on Bear’s fur and he comes in with discernable lovely flakes clinging to the tips of his fur.
There have been a number of ice breakups on Lake of the Woods due to the milder temps we’ve had. There have been a number of 4 wheelers and/or silly people with pickups driving on ice that’s not thick enough to support them. There have been a few ice houses go through the ice as well. The resorts are hurting because ice fishing is one of the staples of their income each year.
It feels strange not to have any last minute Christmas shopping to do this year.
I’m hoping that the things I ordered online for Tom get here by Saturday, otherwise I’ll have to wrap up pictures of them while we wait for the items to arrive.
I’m still working on a plan to make this Christmas different in enough ways that I will not be overwhelmed by sadness at not having any of the kids here. I’m rather tired of people telling me that “...it shouldn’t matter that they’re not here on “the day”. You’ve already celebrated it” Or that “I shouldn’t feel sad about it.” Fuck that! I’m adjusting but if I’m honest about it. Yes, I AM sad, probably a bit resentful. There, I’ve said it.
I fully intend to have a good holiday and to make it as great for Tom as I can, but damnit! I’m still a bit sad and fight tears (rare for me) when I allow myself to think about it. I don’t need gooey sympathy, I don’t even need anyone to acknowledge my feelings or validate them, but I don’t need anyone telling me to stop feeling sorry for myself, or that it shouldn’t matter.
I should be getting my billing for last week done but I will wait until tomorrow to do that. There were two phone calls from clients while I was at the program. Nothing urgent so I’ll wait to talk to them tomorrow too.
I can’t wait to shut off my phone for the holidays!
I’m looking forward to sitting down to make/finish a 4X4 for the exchange that Judah is hosting. I want to get it mailed before Saturday.
I still need to get my cards out. This afternoon when I was feeling better I put together a photo sheet for the back of the letter for faraway family and friends. Maybe I can print them Monday or Tuesday.
Inspite of the occasional bit of slight sadness that seems to come when I least expect it, I can still declare with a certainty and sincerity that LIFE IS GOOD!

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